


My Son was Kissing Boys in the Street

by buckleydiazenthusiast



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Coming Out, EXPLICIT SEXY TIME IN THE THIRD CHAPTER, Eventual Sex, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Grinding, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Character(s) of Color, M/M, Multi, Queer Edmundo "Eddie" Diaz, Robin Buckley is Evan and Maddie Buckley's Aunt, Season/Series 04, Trans Evan "Buck" Buckley, no beta we die like shannon diaz, rip shannon ily, who shouldn't have died
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckleydiazenthusiast/pseuds/buckleydiazenthusiast
Summary: "Sometimes you gotta move on.""I'm still not over it."
Relationships: Edmundo "Eddie" Diaz/Original Male Character, Edmundo "Eddie" Diaz/Shannon Diaz (Past), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Edmundo "Eddie" Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 98





	1. One's [Not Really] Alive While the Other One's Grieving

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GalaxyPixel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyPixel/gifts).



> inspired by the eddie diaz promo video on the 9-1-1 twitter account !!
> 
> little more canon compliant now 😳✌🏼
> 
> Title: Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down (2000)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read about Buck and Eddie asking themselves, "What's it like to be out and proud?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of internalized homophobia + lots of angst + really bad noob writer = this fanfic

To say that Eddie missed his wife was an understatement. While he should've been able to move on from her, the pandemic had caused him to really think about how alone he would really be if Christopher wasn't by his side. Slowly, the creeping guilt that his late wife never truly got to be free of him ate him away.

The only thing she wanted before she was unfairly torn from his life was a divorce. Their marriage was broken beyond repair, but both Eddie and Shannon felt forced to do this for their son. Don't get Eddie wrong, he would do anything for Christopher, but he felt as though making that decision of taking his mother away from him was worse when the time either Shannon or he left.

Sometimes, Eddie lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering how Shannon would take this pandemic, take the divorce if she were still alive for them to go through it. If she were here, lying right beside Eddie, she would tell him to move on. That _Eddie and Shannon_ was an old chapter in his life. A chapter full of memories, good and bad. But something to never be forgotten.

He owed his entire life to his late wife. She gave him his sun, his joy, his pride, his happiness, Christopher Diaz. Shannon barely noticed how wonderful the child really was before a car ran through a group of pedestrians, killing her and 4 other people. The guilt pangs in Eddie's chest every night. _You were right by her side, Diaz, and you STILL couldn't save your own damn wife. Pathetic._

Eddie mindlessly conjured up a conversation with Bobby about the alleged "firefighter" earlier in their shift.

"Sometimes, you gotta move on", Bobby told Eddie.

Eddie was brought back to the present and stared at his captain with a confused look on his face before it clicked.

He swallowed and said, "We're back to Ana Flores", with a nod.

"Really thought you of all people would understand", Eddie added.

"That's why I'm saying it to you", Bobby said.

He paused and added, "Because I know what it's like to be stuck inside the worst moment in your life. To be afraid to hope, to try again".

Eddie had tears in his eyes as he quickly shook his head.

"I'm still not over it", Eddie admitted in a small voice.

"And you'd never will be. You will _always_ miss her", his captain said.

"And that part of you she took with her, you never get it back."

Eddie nodded and Bobby continued.

"But every day you heal a little bit more, then one morning you wake up. And losing her isn't the first thing you think about", Bobby said.

Eddie swallowed down the need to cry and clicked his tongue.

"But you're happy now?", the younger man asked.

"I mean", he quickly added, taking a sharp inhale, "With Athena and the kids?"

"I love the family I have now. But that doesn't mean I ever stopped missing the one I lost.

Eddie paused to let his words click in.

"Thanks", he said quietly as Bobby got up and clapped him on the shoulder, in passing.

Then it clicked.

Eddie spent _forever_ worrying about "getting over" Shannon so he and _Buck_ could get together. Oh, Buck. The man with gorgeous curly hair; bright baby blue eyes that could stop traffic for all the good reasons; a beautiful, unique nose perfect for kisses and occasional _boops_ ; soft, pink, full lips; and a smile that glows like the sun. The man that, alongside Frank, had taught him that emotions are normal, and that the walls of toxic masculinity that Eddie has built over himself for almost 2 and a half decades need to break, need to fall, need to leave and never come back. The man that loves with his entire being. The man that _Eddie_ loves with his entire being.

That night as Eddie dressed in his civilian clothes and drove home, he stayed in his black truck and thought of how relaxing it would be to come out. Tell Buck that he's in love with him. Tell Buck that he likes men. To have that possibility of having Shannon give him a push in the right direction that maybe, he did like men. Maybe he liked men just like he liked women. Maybe he didn't even _need_ a label for it. Maybe he could just be Eddie Diaz, the guy who says "Fuck Toxic Masculinity" and "Fuck All of These Intimidating Labels".

And somewhere, minutes away from him, Buck sat in his large, lonely loft, thinking about how _good_ it would feel to come out. To tell his team, _Hi. I'm Evan Buckley. I'm a trans man. I'm bisexual. And I'm in love with Eddie Diaz_. Of course, he didn't want to have it like those secretly-but-not-really-secretly transphobic Netflix movies where he declares that he "wasn't aways 'Evan' " and was his deadname at one point. Deep down, Buck knew that his team would reassure that he was, and always was, Evan. He trusted his team with his life, but the underlying fear that they would hate him _always_ dominated him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i used government names bc they should put their first name then nickname like buck, hen, and chimney LOL
> 
> i cried so much while making this 😭


	2. Eddie's Backstory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no dialogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story has been requested to have a coming out chapter sooo here it is!! also yes, it is canon (from the crossover) that eddie went a religious all boys school ;)

Eddie was filled with nervous energy as he sat in his room. Christopher is at school which meant an empty house today. He had decided he wanted to come out to his abuela and tía. What label would he put on it? No idea. But he sure hoped they would understand. Eddie's relationship with Isabel and Pepa has always been thousands of times stronger than the tense, strained relationship with his own parents.

He lies down on his bed as he remembers his first relationship in the Catholic all boys private school he went to from kindergarten all the way to senior year. He and his boyfriend, at the time, were the talk of the _entire_ school. Even 5 year olds knew the drama between the two. To this day, Eddie wonders how his parents _never_ figured out, knowing damn well they would've disowned him without a second thought.

His ex boyfriend was a dark-haired, tan-skinned, Hispanic boy named Alejandro, who went by Alex for short. Eddie had developed a crush on Alex around 6th grade. Eddie and Alex confessed their feelings to each other back in 8th grade. Eddie had the advantage to talk about Alex freely, well not too freely as his parents thought he was dating Alexia, a kind girl from his church he's known since early elementary school. They dated for 4 years until they broke up senior year. The internalized homophobia Alex held for himself held him back from being truly happy with Eddie as El Paso, Texas wasn't a very _accepting_ town.

Eddie was heartbroken as he started college without him. He met Shannon in biology his freshman year. The two clicked and quickly became friends. He could eqsily tell that Shannon was into him, she wasn't desparate for male attention, or anything. She had a widow mother and childhood trauma that _didn't_ give her thick skin, but whos needs to anyway?

Once Eddie was over his breakup, which took a _long_ time, by his sophomore year of college, he asked Shannon out on a date. Dating was easy when it came to Shannon, conversations were easy, intimacy, sexual or not, was easy. Everything felt right, up until Junior year of college when she came knocking on his dorm room door in tears and holding up three positive pregnancy tests. Don't get Eddie wrong, he loves Christopher more than _anything_ , but he quickly built up walls of toxic masculinity his father put on him and did what a real man would do. Run away from his problems and push it on the woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to user GalaxyPixel for commenting !


	3. Buck's Backstory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *clanks pots and pans* BODY DYSPHORIA IS REAL PEOPLE!!!!
> 
> also, i am non-binary, which falls under the trans category. i KNOW what dysphoria is like, it's sure as hell not a perty experience.
> 
> i WILL refer to buck as a "girlfriend" in the beginning of the story.

Bisexuality has always been something Buck has wanted to explore. He _really_ explored it when he kissed his best friend, Sophia Campbell, on the cheek during recess back in 3rd grade. They used to hold hands when going to lunch when all the kids made gagging sounds at the thought of two little girls "dating".

Their relationship even lasted for 2 years. In January 2003, Sophia broke up with Evan, who still used his dead name, when she said that her going to a different middle school than her girlfriend meant she wouldn't see Evan again. Evan's heart broke but he promised to call Sophia all the time and visit, as well, as long as they can keep the secret from their parents.

* * *

Evan Buckley _really_ didn't like the fact that he was trapped in a girl's body. By the time he hit _middle school_ , his gender dysphoria was off the damn charts. Evan, or anyone who experiences gender dysphoria, knew it's not just "I don't like that dress" or "no pink for me".

Evan decided to tell his friends during lunch in 6th grade that he was a boy and that he didn't like being in the body of a girl. His friend group surprisingly understood and accepted him, albeit giving vibes of _I know what you're saying but I don't know what the hell you're saying_.

* * *

When Evan hit high school, he began requesting people to call him his new name, instead of his dead name; and refer to him by he/him pronouns instead of she/her. Of course, Hershey, Pennsylvania, just like El Paso, wasn't _too_ accepting in the late-2000's. He tried to keep his hair as short as possible, even if it meant shoulder length.

He already knew his parents would straight up disown him if God forbid he cut it too short. He also tried to dress more masculine and comfy, not wearing things that screamed _female :D_ anymore. His friend group happened to be limited due to his coming out, but they were also one of the most supportive people out there and always had his back when times got tough.

* * *

Evan's first relationship was with Marcus Anderson, a boy with tan skin, dark brown hair, gorgeous green eyes, and _loads_ of confidence in his sexuality since he came out as bi in 2007, during his and Evan's sophomore year. Evan and Marcus became best friends after Marcus came out, and spent all of their time together, whether at lunch, before and after school, or at each other's houses.

As Evan grew feelings for his best friend, Marcus began to grow suspicious. He already knew that Evan _sucked_ at keeping secrets from anyone, so he knew there was something going on. But just like his transition, he decided not to push because he didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable or make him say something he wasn't ready to say. Evan grew more clingy, but more awkward; more supportive, but more teasing; more _anything_ but more the contradiction. If anything, Marcus couldn't deny that _he_ was starting to crush on Evan, too.

Evan confessed his feelings one night when they were sitting together in Marcus's room. Marcus told him he felt the same, and wrapped his arms around Evan, his crush burying his face in his neck. The normalcy continued as they migrated to the couch for a movie, a cheesy romcom Evan found while scrolling through channels.

Marcus got up to make popcorn, then sat back down, sharing a bowl between the two and pretended to stretch before wrapping an arm around his boyfriend's shoulder. Evan snuggled closer to Marcus and dropped a kiss onto his boyfriend's shoulder as they watched the movie. Evan dreaded even _thinking_ about going home that night.

* * *

During lunch one day, Evan and Marcus sat together on one of the benches as the rest of their friend group talked. Maddie hadn't picked up the phone when he called her in the morning, knowing she had a later shift at the hospital from his previous call with her a few days earlier.

He tried at least 8 times in the morning and let it ring before his parents simply told him to give up, which was a tragedy in itself how Phillip and Margaret didn't give a single shit about their daughter anymore. They never put too much attention towards either of their kids for as long as Evan and Maddie could remember after. Their emotional negligence caused Buck to be clingy to the _max_ but Marcus was always there for him, clinging right back.

* * *

Their relationship lasted multiple years. Marcus even helped Evan transition, remembering the day he helped his boyfriend cut his shoulder length hair like a "real man's hair" as Evan called it. There was also the day Marcus helped Evan give himself his first testosterone shot, Evan crying tears of pure happiness as he looked at Marcus with an infinite amount of love.

One day in their sophomore year of college, Evan's dysphoria hit _hard_ after school as he looked himself in Marcus's dorm room mirror. Expecting your testosterone shots to complete erase your dysphoria was a _big_ misunderstanding as all Evan's thoughts were flooded with _curves_ , _hourglass_ , _hips_ , _waist_. The overwhelming feeling rushed over him and he couldn't help but break down at the ugly sight in the mirror.

"Why are you crying, baby?", Marcus asked, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and plastering his chest to Evan's back.

Evan told him how he hated his waist, his hips, his chest, and how everything was soft and feminine, yet so _disgusting_. Marcus turned Evan around held his boyfriend through his breakdown, his shirt soaking with Evan's tears even though he didn't mind one bit. Marcus handed Evan his hoodie, the best thing he could think of to hide Evan's features. Evan cupped Marcus's cheeks and pressed his lips to his boyfriend's in a thank you gesture before pulling on the hoodie and checking himself one more time.

The hoodie was too big for him, but it smelled _just_ like Marcus, and felt like home. He shed happy tears as his boyfriend came from behind and wrapped his arms around him once again, laying his head on Evan's shoulder, and looking at him through the mirror with an _astonishing_ look of pure love.

* * *

Buck still considers that same day the day he lost his virginity. When Evan turned Marcus around and pulled him into an innocent kiss, both boys knew _damn_ well the innocence in it would disappear into thin air. Marcus tapped Evan's hip twice with two fingers before doing the same to his own hip.

Evan got the memo, squatted down, and hoisted himself up, wrapping his legs around his boyfriend's waist, the two never breaking the kiss. Marcus walked over to his bed and gently laid him down to get on top of him. Evan pulled him down, kissing him softly and slowly, with a feeling in his gut that told him he knew what would happen next.

Evan's brain did a happy victory dance after finding out his slow kisses successfully distracted Marcus. He grabbed a hold of Marcus's shoulders, wrestling him to switch their position as he straddled Marcus's lap. Marcus looked at him with a faux betrayed look, sighing softly.

He took off his shirt, revealing his binder he had gotten from the mall, no longer worrying about his parents finding out about it. Marcus did the same, revealing his six-pack before cupping Evan's cheeks to bring him back down for more sloppy kisses.

After a few minutes, the two needed something other than kissing. Evan pulled off his jeans, his hands travelling to Marcus's zipper. His eyes trailed up as he asked for Marcus's consent, earning a "yes" from his boyfriend. He pulled his pants and underwear down hesitantly and seated his [mostly] naked body on Marcus's.

"I don't know if I should take this off", Evan said, gesturing to his binder.

"If you feel comfortable with it on, by all means keep it on", Marcus replied.

Evan adored the kindness, but he _was_ kinda horny and wanted to be naked like his boyfriend was, so he reluctantly took off his binder.

"I don't have lube", Marcus said, adoring his boyfriend's confidence.

"I do", Evan winked, looking down.

"Whe-? Ohhh", Marcus laughed, Evan laughing as well.

Evan sat himself directly on Marcus's cock, slowly grinding backwards. He moaned softly, already hitting his own clit. Marcus's hands reluctantly searched Evan's body, remembering the reason behind Evan's breakdown in the first place. Evan took them and placed them on his hips. His boyfriend's eyes trailed up, his eyes asking _You sure?_. Evan nodded and leaned down to kiss him, grinding back once again causing him to moan into Marcus's mouth.

Marcus swallowed his boyfriend's moan and his hands shifted his boyfriend's hips to move forward. Evan got the gist and began grinding on his boyfriend's cock, hitting his clit and moaning into his boyfriend's moath every now and then.

After a few minutes of swiftly grinding, his hips shifted, Marcus grinding his dick against Evan as well, the two nearing their orgasm.

"I'm not gonna last long, babe", Evan said.

"Me neither", Marcus said, his boyfriend moaning into his mouth.

Evan's hands came up to cup his boyfriend's face. He was _so_ close. His grinds soon became erratic and his moans turned into small whimpers. Marcus letting out a deep moan as Evan squeezed his shoulders, throwing his head back and letting out the most beautiful moan to Marcus's ears as he watched his boyfriend's orgasm rush through him, his squirt making a mess of the sheets. Marcus came soon, cumming onto his own leg and some of Evan's ass.

Marcus basked in the sight of his boyfriend. Evan was wearing a mindless, yet widely stretched grin, with a beautiful pink flush to his cheeks. He blushed too at the sight of Evan's soft, full, kissed-out lips. Evan opened his beautiful blue eyes, the iris reappearing after his pupils were blown from his arousal. His baby looked _gorgeous_.

"You do too, you know", Evan snarkily replied, his wide grin growing even wider at Marcus realization that he said that last thing out loud.

And no, Evan was _not_ a liar. Marcus's tanned skin carried a rosey flush to it, his eyes showing nothing but pure love for his boyfriend as he chest rose and fell. Evan sighed and smiled, pulling his boyfriend into the most loving kiss he could muster, cupping his boyfriend's face with his hands once again. He rested his chin on the top of Marcus's head as Marcus's hands wrapped around Evan's middle.

They took a moment to bask in the aftermath of sex, before the contents of their orgasm starting to make the sheets feel sticky. Marcus was already mentally making a _How the hell do I get by this_ plan to get his sheets in the wash. Evan might have started making a plan too, but right now, the one thing he needed to focus on was that he had a wonderful, loving boyfriend, who would help him through the thick and thin of his transition.

And yes, he knew that Marcus didn'tuse sex as a "distraction" for his dysphoria. He viewed their [first time having] sex as another step to building their relationship. A relationship that has lasted multiple years and will last more years to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is TOTALLY non-compliant to Buck Begins since we know he got kicked out of community college in 2012, at age 20, which was most likely his sophomore year. BUTTT this is a fanfiction, hence "fiction", which means not real, which means who gives a shit if it doesn't correlate 😜😜?


	4. They Don't Think I'm Straight Do They?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck and Eddie come out!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which the author makes maddie text like a high schooler that's stuck in 2007

Eddie's nerves were off the wall as he jogged up the firehouse stairs, two at a time, to ask Hen a _very_ important question. And possibly have a mental breakdown and tell her that her sacred BFF is a boy kisser. Eddie means himself, of course, he'd never out anyone else.

"Can we talk?", Eddie asked, pulling up a chair next to Hen.

"Sure", Hen replied, turning in her seat to face him.

Eddie paused to take a breath before asking "How did you know you liked girls?".

Hen paused before saying, "It wasn't exactly an _a-ha_ moment and it certainly wasn't sunshine and rainbows. I mean, my first crush on a girl was probably in 6th grade, but before that, I was always on the curious side. Why do you ask?"

"Just a question", Eddie replied, a little too quickly.

Hen raised her eyebrow and shot him a glare. Eddie deflated and opened his mouth to tell her, "I think I like men" and watched as Hen's eyes went as wide as dinner plates before he continued to explain his thoughts to her.

"Spill", Hen said.

Eddie widened his eyes and huffed out a breath.

"This'll be a long one", he said, looking at the table and taking a deep breath to ready himself.

"You remember the school I went to, right?"

"Cathedral? The all boys one?", Hen asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Eddie rolled his eyes and blushed before nodding.

"There was this guy I dated", Eddie paused to swallow.

"His name was Alejandro, but everyone called him Alex. He was gorgeous, you know. Dark hair, tan skin, beautiful, soft eyes, like the total package, right?".

Hen nodded and Eddie continued his rant on the beauty of his ex boyfriend.

"Alex and I met in", Eddie paused in an attempt to remember what grade they met in and made a triumphant noise as he remembered.

"3rd grade. A lot of the kids always thought there was something... I don't know... off about him, you know? He didn't look at guys like "Oh my best friend", you know, he looked at them like a soulmate, or a partner. Shit, people used to pick on him to no fuckin' end. They always called him weird or a creep, and knowing how El Paso is, they only got worse."

Eddie paused as he felt his eyes water at the thought of what Alex went through for years and years to come and he forced his words through tears.

"Turns out", Eddie paused to blink and let a few tears fall. Hen placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and gathered her friend into her arms.

"Turns out I was kinda like him too", Eddie said, voice shaking.

"I saw boys like a lifetime partner, too, I saw boys like a soulmate instead of a dude-bro or whatever. Fast forward a little bit, I start to develop a little crush", Eddie laughed, Hen smiing with him.

"On him", Hen's eyes widened.

"And he also happened to have feelings for me", Eddie smiled sadly at the memory.

"When we were 13, we confessed our feelings", Eddie said, the sad smile still plastered on his face as warm tears fell down his cheeks.

"Fast forward even more, we're freshmen trying to find our way through high school. Sometimes, we would hold hands or "bro-hug" to try to cover up a real hug", Eddie recalled.

"And guess what? I got to talk about him whenever the hell I wanted", Eddie boasted with a shit-eating grin, as Hen's face scrunched up in confusion.

"But I thought?-"

"Ah ah ah, my dad was always working all the time, so usually I'd tell my mom. Here's the catch, momma thought Alex was Alexia, some girl I met at church that I started dating."

Hen smiled and laughed.

"Edmundo-"

"Aye", Eddie said before wheezing and the two burst into laughter. Eddie felt a sense of lightness around Hen, something he hoped he could cling onto for a long time.

"So whenever I'd tell my mom I was walking to Alex's house, she'd think it was Alexia", Eddie laughed at the memory of cuddling his boyfriend when he came to his house. His favorite thing was to bury his head into Alex's shoulder and kiss that same place as Alex would card his fingers through Eddie's hair and kiss his hair, laying on Alex's bad. Eddie would practically suffocate himself in Alex's natural woodsy scent as Alex murmured loving things in his ear.

"Anyway", Eddie laughed.

"We dated for 4 years. Broke up senior year. Even some of my army buddies knew about Alex and they'd call my breakup the 'Heartbreak of 2006'. It was tough as hell, but I moved on", Eddie recalled.

"You never said why you broke up?", Hen asked.

"Internalized homophobia. On both sides, but his was the worst. Stopped him from being truly happy. And not just with me, with anyone non-female,I guess", Eddie said, the sad smile reappearing.

He let out a loud sigh.

"And I guess that's the story of Eddie Diaz", he concluded.

"I'm proud of you for telling me, you know? That was a hell of a lot", Hen told Eddie as she pressed her lips to his curly hair.

"That was barely anything", Eddie laughed.

"It was still a lot to unpack, though. And you repressed it for a long time", Hen said, carding a hand through his hair.

* * *

Maddie had known Buck's secret from the start. In fact she was the first person he even came out to. Not even his parents know that their precious child is not a girl anymore. Deciding to save the stress and mental breakdowns about his parents for later, he pulled out his phone to shoot a text to his sister.

 **Buck:** what's a good way to come out to hen chim booby and eddie

 **Maddie:** "Booby". Lol. I'm not sure. I don't have any Coming Out Experience™ but I guarantee u that it shouldn't b hard. They're accepting, open-minded ppl that u trust vv well. Just tell them how u feel and what u id with :)

 **Buck:** awww

 **Buck:** ty maddie :(

 **Maddie:** N e thing 4 u :)

 **Buck:** you need to stop texting like that

 **Maddie:** Stfu


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little look into eddie and hen's talk

redoing this chapter 📢


	6. The Coming Out ™

random letters because im starting this chapter soon 😝

Eddie  
Buck  
Eddie  
Buck  
Eddie  
Buck


End file.
